Weekly Crime Report

The Gillette Police Department and Campbell County Sheriff’s Office issue daily press briefings to help keep local news outlets like County 17 up to date on area crime and ongoing investigations. Here’s our highly editorialized account of some of those crimes.

For those connoisseurs of dumb crime stories written by immature people, here’s a small sampling of the Weekly Crime Report soon to be revamped and expanded. For everyone else (i.e. those lecturing about humor in crime being unwarranted–we know, crime is not funny!), please see the daily blotter.

 

Ringing in the new year
What better way to celebrate the new year than getting drunk and beating the crap out of your buddy? Better yet, not remembering it as two 20-somethings in Wright demonstrated on New Year’s Day. At some point, the 21-year-old guy called the sheriff to turn themselves in, but when deputies arrived just before 6:30 a.m., both guys were far too plastered to coherently explain what happened. But it wasn’t a total loss for the deputies as the 26-year-old had an outstanding warrant for driving without a valid license. A shining (perhaps literally) start to 2021, fellas!

Wild horses couldn’t drag his joint away
A 22-year-old man caught a deputy’s eye while parked under the I-90 overpass on Wildhorse Creek Road. It turned out he was just taking a little nap after taking one toke too many. When asked if he had any drugs in the vehicle, he handed over 1.36g of marijuana and 7g of THC wax. He remained mellow while being placed under arrest and transported to jail.

Dude, where’s my car 
A 32-year-old man was probably hoping his 44-year-old roommate wouldn’t notice as he drove off in his Volkswagen without permission in the wee hours Jan. 3. Unfortunately for him, he was no man of mystery and was easily traced to the Sundance Lounge, where he no doubt attempted to blend into the crowd. It didn’t work. Police found him and asked about the missing car to which he replied that his roommate had dropped him off. The only problem was that he had the roommate’s car keys in his pocket. And because he had been drinking prior to absconding with the vehicle, he failed the requisite sobriety tests. He was thus charged with a DUI and unauthorized use of a vehicle, and likely returned to find his furniture and clothes in the front yard.

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The Future’s so Bright…
Sometimes after huffing air duster a guy just needs a pair of sunglasses and new lighter. No money? No problem as one 31-year-old Gillette man proved Sunday night after attempting to lift said merchandise from the Loaf N’ Jug. Lacking the ability to blend in, the man’s actions raised suspicion among employees who noticed he was ‘acting strangely.’ Unfortunately, the stolen glasses lacked a plastic nose and mustache, and the man was easily spotted. That, and the fact that he was carrying a can of air duster that he’d just heisted from another store. After making and uploading a video to TikTok (we’re guessing), no doubt hundreds of idiots have since repeated this genius’ trick and have also been arrested in cities throughout the world, but hopefully not in Gillette.

Giving up the Ghost
“Hey, officer, I’m drunk,” one man gleefully told police Thursday afternoon after being pulled over in his vehicle on Warlow Drive. “I’m going to jail,” he continued happily, refusing to perform any sobriety tests, kindly saving them all time. It’s his second DUI in 10 years, he further explained, noting he was also driving under suspension as he high-fived the police and headed into the back of the cruiser (just kidding, it’s COVID. They elbow-bumped).

 

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